What kind of mountain biker are you? #6 The Weekend Warrior

What kind of mountain biker are you? #6 The Weekend Warrior

If you've ridden a mountain bike for any length of time you'll recognise the various sorts of riders you're likely to meet on the trails. In this mini series we take a look at six very different sorts of mountain biker. In this, the final instalment we meet the weekend warrior…

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Published: December 23, 2017 at 12:20 pm

We salute the weekend warriors, they are the backbone of mountain biking. On any given Sunday, regardless of the weather, these guys and girls will be out there slogging through the mud, up hills and around trail centres, crashing into trees, fixing punctures in the rain, getting hypothermia, but still somehow ending the day with a smile on their face and coming back for more. This is a homage to those brave souls who do battle with the trails each weekend…

Excitement builds

Your weekdays are misspent surfing the net, glued to videos from the Alps or drooling over the latest and most expensive kit. You aspire to own a Santa Cruz with ENVE wheels. Steve Peat rides one so they must be the best, right? In the meantime, you kit your steed out with brightly anodised parts. In the meantime you kit your steed out with brightly anodised parts to match your frame. You try justifying to your better half, just how much faster this new upgrade will make you, but they don’t get it. Your mate went to BikePark Wales last week and told you how gnarly Terry’s Belly was, so you and the lads are going there this weekend. You’re going to need all of your body armour. Time to dig out your CamelBak and pack the kitchen sink.

three riders on the trails at BikePark Wales
Anticipation is high for the what amazing riding adventures await the weekend crew.

The weekend is here!

Arriving at the trail centre, you feel a bit blurry. You and your mates were on the sauce last night and that full English isn’t sitting too well. Never mind, as soon as you climb out of your brand new VW T6 the banter is flowing and Dave is showing off his new Intense (it only cost him 12 grand). You quietly think you’d better look at upgrading your bike too. Lots of faffing and bike fettling follows – Barry can’t get his tubeless tyre to inflate – but eventually you’re all kitted up and ready to ride, only two hours after you arrived.

A customer eats the 'Super' full English breakfast at the 'Enough to Feed an Elephant' cafe in this arranged photograph in London, U.K., on Monday, July 10, 2017. British consumers could see the price of a fry-up -- a classic English breakfast with ingredients like bacon, sausages, orange juice, baked beans and mushrooms -- increase by almost 13 percent. Photographer: Simon Dawson/Bloomberg via Getty Images
Ever regretted over indulging at breakfast when the first climb of the day kicks in? (Photo: Getty Images)

No pain, no gain

The gang hits the first climb, to a symphony of mashing gears and heavy breathing. You can feel beer seeping through your pores. “F**k me, this is harder than Richie Rude makes it look,” you think. Everyone’s muttering that this isn’t much fun – maybe if John hadn’t got the dates wrong you’d have managed to get on the uplift. Poor John, the missus is always giving him a hard time about riding. He tried to get her into it once, but she fell off her brand new enduro bike on the first day and hasn’t ridden it since.

Riders standing around by an uplift van with bikes on
You need clearly defined roles - someone needs to take charge of booking the uplift or there will be all hell to pay come that first climb!

What it’s all about

Wheezing and panting, you top the climb and fumble for a Mars Bar. Dave lights up a fag. There’s a collective decision to buy e-bikes next year. You’re excited about the descent though. It’s graded blue – what a chance to put your 170mm enduro bike through its paces! Helmet cam running? Check. You’re ready to go… You drop in and carnage ensues. John tries to gap a 2ft tabletop and is bucked over the bars. Barry drops a pedal and careers into the bushes. At the bottom, you all recount your heroic exploits.

Man crashes on mountain bike and eats dirt
When everyone gets a bit carried away carnage ensues. You might even witness a crash as spectacular as this one…

Back to the grind

Battered and bruised, you limp back to the trailhead. Your GPS is reading 10km – that was a helluva day out! Everyone crowds round to watch the headcam footage of John’s crash. Sadly, all you can see is his bar and the ground. Oh well, it’s not long until your next ride. You’ve just got to get through the next five days of work. Plus the annual pilgrimage to Morzine is on the horizon. Barry is boasting that he’s going to drink 10 pints of Mützig, then do a run of Le Pleney in his boxers. You can’t wait to see it!

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Sven Martin

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